@dmc1138: This one time, I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
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@LuvPug: So I was all like Gal-lee-lay-oh And he was all --- And I was Gal-lee-lay-oh And he was --- And that's when I knew it wasn't gonna work out
@SuicideBooth1: Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]
@dafloydsta: ME: *opens car door for date like a gentleman* DATE: *running and out of breath* PLEASE STOP THE CAR
@AimeeHelene1: Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants