@dmc1138: This one time, I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in.
@MrSpoonicorn: *a tree branch bursts into a bank with a gun* "THIS IS A STICK UP" *everyone laughs* "GUYS IM SERIOUS" *more laughter* "DAMN IT" *leaves*
@djdarrellripley: I have a strict policy against dating coworkers... Well, not so much a policy as a loosely enforced suggestion, at the request of my lawyer.