@ramenfuneral: this person knows how to have fun
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@Awk0Tacoo: Cat: Human, congratulations, I've chosen your face to sleep upon tonight. If at some point you cannot breathe, do not wake me.
@FloodyHippie: As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long.
@duumb: [kidnapper asking for ransom] pay by 6 pm or i start sending u his fingers [gf trying to unlock my phone] can u start with his right thumb