@beingtheo: This Petraeus scandal is getting real confusing. I hope I didn't sleep with him.
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@TheDailySchmuck: Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say.
@Elizasoul80: [alien taking notes] Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee.
@david8hughes: [skydiving with my dog] Me: ur ears r inside out My dog: can't hear u my ears r inside out Me: it's the wind My dog: I think it's the wind
@Nodine13: Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy.