@duplicitron: This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "This new flavour of Pringles is horrible." Wife: "You're eating a tube of tennis balls."
@3sunzzz: Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack.
@KamaroPayne: Do you ever take a bunch of pills, forget that you took a bunch of pills, take a bunch more pills, and then die? I know. Me TOO.