@duplicitron: This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thenatewolf: *Chooses paper towels instead of the hand dryer right as a tree walks into the bathroom*
@Cheeseboy22: When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up.
@SMLXist: What in all holy hell is going on with this box of toilet paper I just got from Amazon
@flashember: Meow meow meow [Wife comes home early] MEOW! *cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack* THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU