@duplicitron: This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
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@MarcusTheToken: St. Patrick's Day is the day we all watch Ghost and Dirty Dancing in honor of Patrick Swayze.
@WildeThingy: [dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - "woof, woof, woof." Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*
@Ideal_Victoria: Ok, seriously men... You can't hear yourselves snoring, but the slightest crinkle of a chip bag, and you're suddenly wide awake?!