@CauseWereGuys: This Polar Bear is my spirit animal
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@shutupmikeginn: I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
@Dutch_50: When the cleaning lady say's "Have a good night", I try to time it so we say it in unison. Then I say our "You too" response in harmony.
@Cheeseboy22: Parenting tip: If your kids are fighting in the back seat of the car, stick your arm over and swing it around a bunch. That'll show em'.