@PaulyPeligroso: This pumpkin spice toilet paper seems unnecessary, but I'll taste it nonetheless.
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@causticbob: All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!
@InternetHippo: "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to myself, in all other situations
@MrSandeepP: I love how girls say that they like a guy with a sense of humour and yet you'll never find a poster of Mr Bean on their wall.
@JediGigi: *eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!