@bornmiserable: "This race is over," said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ThisOneSayz: Me: sandwich for lunch? 6yo: noooo!!! Me: how about salami, tomatoes, cheese & bread? 6: YES!! I win.
@Kyle_Lippert: DATING IN THE 1800s 1) Get telegram from Mae 2) Wait to respond. Don't be desperate 3) Get telegram that Mae died of dysentery while waiting
@TheRolo: Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one.
@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.