@bornmiserable: "This race is over," said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president.
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@sofarrsogud: KID:Dad what's the difference between a gerbil and a rat DAD WHO IS A MAFIA BOSS:A gerbil sleeps in a cage and a rat sleeps with the fishes
@WineMummy: Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you.
@GloriaFallon123: I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen
@TheBoydP: Guys, when she complains about something you didn't do, tell her about the things you did do. That will make everything ok! You're welcome!