@bornmiserable: "This race is over," said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president.
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@nbadag: ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it
@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Breaking: It's snowing where some people live and not snowing where other people live. More about this in 10 minutes on Facebook News.