@OhNoSheTwitnt: This reads like the bunny is the First Lady and I can't stop laughing.
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@Cheeseboy22: I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
@onion_an: [at restaurant] Me: "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" Wife: "I'm the same" Horse family at next table: *just sitting very still*
@quietlybiased: Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid.
@olerunkbitch: I had no idea we were millionaires until I just saw my husband casually rip off 3 or 4 paper towels at once.