@HatfieldAnne: This recipe calls for half an onion, which presumes I have a plan for the other half of the onion, which means the recipe is getting the whole onion.
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@JohnLyonTweets: [dog trial] D.A.: Who's a good boy? Dog: *wags tail* D.A.: Then how do you explain the scattered trash? Dog: *ears droop* *jury gasps*
@VioricaMarian1: I once taught an 8 am college class. So many grandparents died that semester. I then moved my class to 3 pm. No more deaths. And that, my friends, is how I save lives.