@vexroid: This restaurant should really be giving me a discount for ordering carryout and not bringing my kids inside.
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@TimB5150: I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400!
@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@peterjames48: Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: "Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"
@Reverend_Scott: [blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) "So what do u do?" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]