@Snarfernini: This salad tastes like I'm about done with my New Year's Resolution.
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Him:Dude, I went on one of those police ride alongs with my friend..it was awesome! You ever done that? Me: In the front or back of the car?
@Dallani: Yes, 911?... Yeah, this guy is wearing green-colored skinny jeans and he has a really hot girlfriend. So do I judge him...or her?
@nbadag: [me giving tour of city landmarks] and on your left you'll see a corgi in a bandana—he's not part of the tour but let's go get a closer look
@TheHyyyype: [creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die