@behindyourback: This Slow Jaywalker Thinks The Driver Of The Oncoming Car Values Human Life More Than Proving A Point, What Happens Next Will Surprise Him!
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@Nicoleroxxu: One more glass of wine and my "only a lesbian from the waist up" rule is about to go out the window.
@tchrquotes: Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up.
@literally_is_me: All I'm saying is Sesame Street would be a lot more entertaining if Big Bird were a velociraptor.