@DanHopp: This sounds bad:
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@TheRobCee: #1 complaint of armored car drivers? People they talk to along the way ending the conversation with "...and you can take THAT to the bank!"
@trevso_electric: Posing with your cat to attract men is like posing with your cat to attract men,
@philmann: [me narrating a documentary about narrators] "I can't hear what they're saying cuz I'm talking"
@sixfootcandy: Boss: Can you redact the total before sending the statement? Me: Sure. Right after I look up the word redact.