@PanettaSexyTime: This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
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@AtticusFinch79: PROSECUTOR: the defendant robbed 3 stores naked wearing only a teletubby mask ME: *slams gavel* guilty as charged Defendant: aren’t you my lawyer? JUDGE: *missing his gavel* give that back
@turkeyheadmac: No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive I won't have a clue how to get back here
@Fred_Delicious: Comic Sans walks into a bar. Barman says "sorry we don't serve your type in here"