@HomeProbably: This strange woman won't stop talking to me so I'm going to stare at her eyebrows until she gets paranoid and leaves me alone.
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@DeanB15: I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu.
@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.
@trumpetcake: Spent the day dressed as a bee, gently bumping myself against my neighbor's sliding-glass door. Got the hose twice.