@HomeProbably: This strange woman won't stop talking to me so I'm going to stare at her eyebrows until she gets paranoid and leaves me alone.
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@hamspamtymaam: Never reach into a girl's purse. Anything could be inside, a bear could be in there. You just don't know.
@kelly_pawlluck: Cute guy: I like that you just say what's on your mind Me: Why do you think Ginger was the only band member named after an actual spice?
@bombsydoll: [at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first
@ch000ch: hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. the captain can't talk cause we both said "hope we don't die haha" at the same time and i jinxed him