@cschleichsrun: This summer, a rom-com dares to ask the question, "Can a 9 date an 8?"
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@DirtMcTurd: Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
@david8hughes: [phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit
@GuyEndoreKaiser: Do you have any motivational books? Yeah, they're in the back. (long pause) Do you have any that are closer?
@RogueGod: After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c**t.