@BigO_303: This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone.
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@VirgoSherry: A co-worker just used the word "elderly" to describe someone my age and that's why I had to kill her.
@SaltyCorpse: I hate when I get branded "Meanest Mom" so early in the morning. It gives me nothing to shoot for the rest of the day.
@TheBoydP: The best thing about being an accountant is that everyone assumes you’re not a psychopath.
@ramenfuneral: happy easter everybody! remember it's not about the bunny but when scott stapp was nailed to that cross