@BigO_303: This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone.
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@catmarstru: "shaved carrots instead of cheese" lol okay Vogue thanks for the diet advice those totally taste the same
@clairecdowns: Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!
@MsCarlissima: My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, "Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you." *Soft kiss*
@stephenjmolloy: [Job interview] "What are your strengths?" Me: I fall in love easily. "Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?" Me: Those blue eyes of yours.