@BigO_303: This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone.
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@TheHyyyype: TEACHER: That's the third time this week - please explain your tardiness ME: Well, it basically means that I've been late
@msdanifernandez: Did you guys hear about the football player who hits women? No the other one. No the other one.
@noogscorner: Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot.
@Its_Miss_Riss: I imagine the hardest part about being vegan is getting up before sunrise to milk all of those almonds.