@wokieleaks1: This thread gets better every time I read it
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@KalvinMacleod: My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips.
@GaryJanetti: Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there.
@elle91: I'm afraid my neighbors are starting to notice that I can't tell them apart but greet each of their dogs by name.
@Schmoodles: Sometimes I see a baby and think "Aww, I want one!" Then I find my TV remote in the fridge again and think "Yeah, maybe I'm not ready."