@seandunn76: This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob
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@WGladstone: "She's got legs. She knows how to use them." "So she's ambulatory then?" "... I guess?" "And is that really all you're looking for?"
@JohnLyonTweets: As a kid one Christmas Eve I set out dog biscuits instead of cookies and it turned out Santa was not a jolly old elf. Not. At. All.
@squirrel74wkgn: Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.