@SamGrittner: This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring.
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@WillSaysStuff: This post-pregnant lady found the perfect way to shed her baby-belly by giving birth! Scientists and non-pregnant ladies HATE her!!!
@Steven37366100: [millennial children kindergarten roll call] Teacher: Nancy? Nancy: here Nanci: here Nancee: here Pnancy: Here Gnancy: here
@RobElliottComic: So everyone knows, it's frowned upon to yell "Hot potato" when someone hands you a baby and toss it back to them