@OhNoSheTwitnt: This "violence in the workplace" seminar is only teaching us what we shouldn't do. No fighting techniques or anything.
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@Tuna_Lover: I'm 43 yrs old and still buying pot at a mall parking lot. On the flip side, Mom is 70 and still selling it there.
@Crunk_Jews: [blind date] Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU
@MissNaughty1801: Him:I'm not going to use this taxi company again. They nearly killed me this morning Me:don't be so hasty darling...give them another chance
@rivetingbonmots: There is no "I" in the word "team," but I don't think that means anything about team work. That's just how it's spelled.