@OhNoSheTwitnt: This "violence in the workplace" seminar is only teaching us what we shouldn't do. No fighting techniques or anything.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Yesterday my daughter asked how babies are made, and I gave such a terrible explanation she now thinks babies come from eggs.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: how can I make u proud? MOM: reach for the stars NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: the closest star is 93 million miles away. You’ll never get there.
@GingerHotDish: Maced a hobo who started pulling cables out of my computer at work. Turned out to be the hipster IT guy and now I'm in HR again.