@Molly_Kats: This vodka tastes strange, kinda like I'm not going to work tomorrow.
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@poizngrl: I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains why I'm the only one with brown eyes in the family
@rickkondell: The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher.
@myonlymizztake: The answer to the question, "do these jeans still fit" depends on whether or not I actually have to sit down at any point.
@Jacob_Swift16: I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times