@dulcetry: This Walmart is advertising $9.99 iPads to anyone who throws their baby into a snakepit.
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@CatherineLMK: "Damnit!" -a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps.
@JAdomian: Went to a Trump rally in New Hampshire this week. Hard to describe the vibe, but "what if the Nazis didn't care about fitness?" comes close.
@schumoo: Just tell me how many calories are in the entire package and save me the trouble of doing all the multiplication.