@matt___nelson: This was the best day of my life
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@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
@ohpeetie: Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?
@Matt_The_Fist: I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes