@matt___nelson: This was the best day of my life
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@DaddyJew: I taught my kid the importance of stop, drop and roll at an early age. Now he never blocks my view of the television.
@panmidwest: I was going to pay the taxi driver with my leftovers from lunch but that wouldn't be fare to him
@tat2skatermom: I have a doorbell chime for text messages. I just checked my door twice. I don’t have a doorbell. Line up boys. This kinda genius is rare.