@AdriannaLaCervx: This whole "parenting a teenager" thing isn't really working out. I'm going to tell him I just want to be friends.
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@LoneWolfStories: That's one healthy flower bed you've got blooming in your backyard. How many bodies do you have buried there? -My attempts at small talk.
@LMLMadness: Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed.
@ComedicBust: Role playing is fun, but I'm starting to wonder why my girlfriend will only let me dress up as my brother Randy.