@BackrowSeats: This woman at the bar said "move, you're blocking the door" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number.
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@robknepper: and on the 8th day, god created a website for u to meet the hot christian singles in ur area
@DanMentos: "If you're having girl? Problems. I feel bad. For you? Son." -Russian guy telling his pregnant wife he hopes it's a boy.
@SCbchbum: Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work.