@BackrowSeats: This woman at the bar said "move, you're blocking the door" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number.
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@Huber138: Me: Would you like to be a model? Her: yes Me: are you comfortable with nudity? Her: Sure Me:
@R_A_Dadass: Some parents sing the Clean Up song, but I just yell "I'm getting garbage bags you better hope you can pick up your toys faster than I can!"
@Amazon_Blonde: 911 what is your emergency? Me: "My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home" 911: "stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING