@PoonWhisperer1: This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she's never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
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@Home_Halfway: I think the scariest part about having triplets is having to be pregnant for 27 months.
@ElgatoEsmio: At the state fair I realized none of my troubles matter when you dip them in batter
@owlcity: If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap.