@PoonWhisperer1: This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she's never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
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@Petote: *hates you so much replaces everything and everyone you love with a cat* even if you already have a cat, *replaces it with a worse cat*
@dafloydsta: ME: I’m going to stick my resolutions this year. MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not stick to his resolutions. In fact, he would break every single one of them. And then some.
@Brampersandon_: A new study finds that chicken isn't as healthy for you as once thought. "Just don't ask to see our data" clucked one feathered researcher.