@girlwithatail: This woman's "I'm deleting my Facebook" post has 52 comments and she's replied to all of them. Not a strong start.
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@tastefactory: HULK:*smashes a tank* IRON MAN:*flies bomb into space to save mankind* HAWKEYE: I have an arrow w/ your name on it pal, hold on stand still
@daemonic3: 911: What's your emergency? "I put the Ford in affordable housing." 911: Are you flirting? "No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"
@BCMontgo: [commercial for pants] *naked guy attempts to put phone in pocket, falls on floor, cracks screen* There has to be a better way!