@girlwithatail: This woman's "I'm deleting my Facebook" post has 52 comments and she's replied to all of them. Not a strong start.
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@theroneman: Captain: You’re suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop.
@AlexvanBeek: [10mins from now] ..& just like that North Korea was removed from history & got nuked by every country on Earth for bringing down Twitter..
@jakebrodes: chik-fil-a employee: It Would Be My Dying Wish To Serve You, Great Lord me: I just want some nuggets man cfa employee: I Would Die For You
@YouWillGo2Hell: Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping.