@Sarcasticsapien: This world would be a much better place if some people's mothers would've just had a headache.
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@Jill_Doe_: There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon.
@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
@_The_Man__: [in basement lab] wife: you cant just make your own honey me: (mouth dry, spitting pollen everywhere) I know that now Lisa.