@bobbiejo448: This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five.
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@ValeeGrrl: NEWLYWED FRIEND: i just love him so much, i always want to be around him! ME: you haven't heard him eat cereal yet, have you
@Sickayduh: Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him
@GarreTheFerret: My bank sends a text with my balance. It's a nice feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.