@mattdpearce: this Yahoo Answers page gives me life
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@TheTweetOfGod: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" To even out the good things that happen to bad people.
@dulcetry: My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download
@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: know what you're getting yet? Me: a burger and one of those coloring menus. Her: oh, you have a kid at home? Me: no.
@aka_fatman: "What does your mother do for a living?" "She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."