@mattdpearce: this Yahoo Answers page gives me life
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*
@shondarhimes: Calling Sony comments"racially insensitive remarks" instead of "racist"? U can put a cherry on a pile of sh*t but it don't make it a sundae.
@sad_tree: When people say "You can fit a million earths in the sun!!!" I'm like: Hey. Maybe we shouldnt put any earths in the sun. The sun is hot.
@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.