@mattdpearce: this Yahoo Answers page gives me life
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@WheelTod: At a concert if the band asks "How's everyone feeling tonight" I'm like maybe we shouldn't have built our country on an Indian burial ground
@david8hughes: [leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to.
@P1ssed_K1d: AROMATHERAPY CONUNDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing? #retweet #grief
@kelkulus: Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we're pigs.