@mattdpearce: this Yahoo Answers page gives me life
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: [at a bar] *sees hot chick check me out* *writes note on napkin and asks bartender to give to her* *she reads note* "STOP STARING IT'S RUDE"
@briangaar: Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass
@oxygenplug: [commercial for college] *person shoveling money into furnace* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better way?
@jwoodham: Whenever you're mad at someone, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Those 10 seconds will give you time to think of the perfect insult.