@bridger_w: This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Basic white girl [laughing]: Yasssss omg I'm dying! Takes Everything Literally Todd [shocks her with a defibrillator]: NOT ON MY WATCH!
@NourHadidi: Overheard at work: "that is music to my ears". Where else would the music go smartypants?
@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus #GoodFriday