@Home_Halfway: Thomas Jefferson's dad's name was Thomas Jefferdad. Really makes you think
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@chopper4jk: I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck.
@internetluke: [comes out of coma after 12 years] ME: Holy shit I forgot to set my AIM status to 'Away'! DOCTOR: you might want to take a seat
@ComedicBust: Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once.