@robdelaney: Those a-hole guys on "Teen Mom" don't think being a dad is "cool." Well check me out #Responsibility never looked so "swag! " lol
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@TheMichaelRock: Chris Brown said he's done making music. That's funny. I didn't even know he started.
@theevilwriter: I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted.
@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
@Donna_McCoy: [first date] Him: *dips chip into salsa rather than scooping* Me: *gets up and leaves* (...comes back, grabs salsa bowl, leaves for real)