@robdelaney: Those a-hole guys on "Teen Mom" don't think being a dad is "cool." Well check me out #Responsibility never looked so "swag! " lol
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@iamspacegirl: when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit
@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
@TrueTorontoGirl: Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing.
@voldemortsbicep: Some ppl are like, bury me and plant a tree so I live on in nature and I'm like, same but plant potatoes so I can live on in french fries