@brennadine: Those magical three words you've been waiting so long to hear. Red, or white?
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@DillDoes: *Burglar breaks into my room* *he looks around* *he softly wakes me up* Dude do you need some money or something? I'd be happy to help
@highwayhooligan: I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
@PhuckinCody: *watches a show about global warming* Yeah whatever, doesn't affect me. *watches a show about bear attacks* Would I be able to take a bear?
@wilw: Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza.