@Kayditty: Those people that get up and are already home from the gym by 7 a.m. make me believe the movie Men in Black just may be true after all.
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@davidkenny100: Have you never heard of the boy that cried wolf??? The girl that coughed bees? The boy that sneezed sharks? The girl that shit spiders?
@pleatedjeans: [unzips fannypack filled with jellybeans and some fall out] Dammit [bends over to pick them up and the rest spill out] DAMMIT
@captainkalvis: [my dog runs up to me, bone in his mouth] you better stop bringing these back, we’ve got like 200 more to dispose of