@Kayditty: Those people that get up and are already home from the gym by 7 a.m. make me believe the movie Men in Black just may be true after all.
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@jonnysun: "911 whats ur emergency" omg im DYING "we'll send someone right awa–" i met THE funiest guy "ok wait so ur not actualy–" AND HE STABBED ME
@HousewifeOfHell: Someday, scientists will capture the energy of eye rolls to produce electricity, and the world will be a cleaner, more sarcastic place.
@peachesanscream: Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.