@sixfootcandy: Those Weren’t Raisinets: A Mouse Tale
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@krautsider: Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper
@FlyoverJoel: The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.
@LeahTiscione: If you ever see me with one of those stick figure family bumper stickers it means I'm dead and someone is wearing my skin
@AbrasiveGhost: INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put "has dominion over bees"? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off