@eudaimonium: Those who carry teensy cute purses shouldn't throw stones at those who wear cargo shorts, because I can carry more stones.
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@DaddyJew: Daddy, how'd you get that scar? *flashback to me tripping & falling while running from the police after a night of drunken debauchery* War
@AaronFullerton: USA: "Hey nachos, today's your big day!" Nachos: "What about Cinco de Mayo?" USA: "What'd you just say?" Nachos: "Nothing."
@AndyAsAdjective: I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why "mustache" & "headache" don't rhyme.