@evanR39: Those who say there is no such thing as a stupid question have obviously never worked in tech support..;)
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@ItsAndyRyan: Child twister: "I can't tear up that farmhouse, Dad" Dad twister: "Come on son – we're Kansas tornadoes, not Kan'tsas tornadoesn'ts"
@mewritesgood: You say "potato", I say "This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."
@THEDUTHCHESS: Yesterday 9 asked what's the meaning of life and 6 punched him, but that was yesterday when I was on acid. Numbers don't usually talk to me.
@PaperWash: [Freddy Krueger enters my dream but I'm blasting Rebecca Black on repeat] Who's nightmare is it now Freddy?!