@Parentpains: Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
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@better_off_dad: A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night.
@sickipediabot: My wife suffers from chronic, debilitating headaches. Anyway, enough about her... ...back to drum practice.
@thepunningman: Hot mothers in your area want you to text them to let them know you got home ok.