@Parentpains: Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
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@moxieblogger: If you want to know how Irish my family is, my parents don't have a liquor cabinet, they have a liquor closet Right next to the beer fridge
@UncleDuke1969: [doorbell] "Sir, do you believe Jesus died for your sins?" "No." "Why not?" "He died like 2000 years ago." "So?" "I'm 46. Do the math."