@WigCannon: Thought I saw a walking burrito but it was just a pug in a raincoat.
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@UNTRESOR: If video games taught me anything it's that you don't need to work because there's precious gems just laying around everywhere.
@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so
@trentistweeting: [feeding baby] Here comes the plane! *baby swallows food* wow you just ate everyone on board. way to go you little jerk
@GloriaFallon123: My daughter is such a happy little person she giggles in her sleep, which makes me worry that somehow she's not my biological offspring