@WigCannon: Thought I saw a walking burrito but it was just a pug in a raincoat.
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@DaddyJew: Your son has been suspended "for what?" He hit a kid who was picking on another child "so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"
@BigGucci_Idz: It's funny when guys say "treat your girl right or I will" lol if you could treat girls right then where is your girl?
@SteveSuckington: [first date] "You're not into anything weird right?" -not at all *gestures to my ferret army to fall back*