@WakeVII: Thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 15 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a squirrel.
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@caliluvgirl77: I'll never rob a store because I don't want to see the police guess my weight on a wanted poster.
@moose_chocolate: Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here.
@68Cly29: The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties.