@DurtMcHurtt: Thought somebody was touching my neck so I turned around and did a karate chop stance, turns out it was just my feather earring.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@albz: I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
@SCbchbum: My dog crosses her paws regally while lying on the floor, like she didn't just eat the contents of the bathroom trash can.
@JazzTrombonist: I accidentally texted my wife with voice recognition...while playing the trombone
@maurajbg: ME: Say "Anagrams are stupid" one more time & I will rearrange your face. YOU: Anagrams are stupid. ME: You farce.