@timdonakowski: Thousands of married racists are waking up this morning and questioning the skin color of their spouse.
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@jakob_huber: I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through.
@Ideal_Victoria: I’m getting tired of always having to slowly raise my hand every time someone angrily asks, “Who does something like that?!”