@timdonakowski: Thousands of married racists are waking up this morning and questioning the skin color of their spouse.
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@shawnspree: My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. "THIS is my wife.." *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can
@snowmedia: My mom worries about me too much. We were having a phone conversation till she dropped her phone. She picks it up and asks "are you OK?"
@GingerGander: Every year, falling coconuts kill more people than shark attacks, but the families of the shark victims are less embarrassed.
@iamdevloper: "If something goes wrong, we'll just go to a blue DOS screen and dump out an indecipherable log of what happened". This was a choice made.