@TySmithdrums: Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,"So! What religion are you in for?"
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@jonnysun: dumbledore: our enchanted ceiling shows us wat the sky outside looks like mcgonagall: so…a magic glass ceiling dumbledore: [starts sweating]
@stanleybehrman: Thank you Twitter for introducing me to brilliant people , but your suggestions of who is similar to me is making me reassess my life.
@kyle_thatisall: Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"