@sheekaxo: Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard.
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@GregDunbar1: Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
@ScottLinnen: We have a ghost. Came home and found the fridge magnets rearranged: "I see dreadful people."
@Jerk_Martin: Me flirting at a party me: so what's your major her: radiology me: oh cool AM or FM?