@garthinkingcap: Throughout history they've removed a lot of key parts from the bible, like how Satan nicknamed his loofah "Loofifer."
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@Ygrene: Space Cat: *furious as he knocks items off of a shelf and they just float in place, mocking him*
@sofarrsogud: Before we were married, my wife was like a tiger in the bedroom. Now she's more like a possum. She plays dead whenever a snake approaches.
@lilgapeach30: Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages.