@garthinkingcap: Throughout history they've removed a lot of key parts from the bible, like how Satan nicknamed his loofah "Loofifer."
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@TOMayorFord: Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight.
@blade_funner: wife: I'm having a baby. me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have a baby as well.
@Jake_Vig: George Clooney and Brad Pitt fall in love and rob casinos together. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly