@ceejoyner: Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it's fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The perfect crime.
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@NewDadNotes: [Titantic sinks] Jack: wanna share that door so I don’t die? Rose: [door lock noise]
@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.
@AsgardianRose: Happy one month anniversary to whatever is inside that Tupperware bowl in the back of the fridge!