@ceejoyner: Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it's fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The perfect crime.
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@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
@lisaxy424: *finally finds comfiest position in bed* bladder: so you're not going to believe this
@_ElvishPresley_: INDIANA JONES: this belongs in a museum! *11 people die* INDIANA JONES: this was worth it
@zachreinert03: Did you guys know on average 3 confused cannibals get punched in the face a year because they say yes to wanting a knuckle sandwich