@jimmytorosian: Throw stones at people who live in glass houses. They won't throw them back because they've been told their whole life that they shouldn't.
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@SequelsWeWant: Legend of Tarzan 2: Tarzan meets other primates. He befriends them all. He teaches them to fight. It's a prequel to Planet of the Apes.
@shanethevein: Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice.
@flashember: [writing last will and testament] and to Oliver i leave my "Why I Taught Bears To Use Swords" memoir BEAR: [from outside] FIGHT ME U COWARD
@abbycohenwl: Me: Why am I suddenly sick? Friend: Probably the change in the Weather [earlier] Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*