@Reverend_Scott: Throwing pregnancy tests into the shopping carts of random couples at Walmart is the only silver lining in my day.
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@myonlymizztake: The answer to the question, "do these jeans still fit" depends on whether or not I actually have to sit down at any point.
@Dawn_M_: Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen.
@AndyAsAdjective: I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why "mustache" & "headache" don't rhyme.