@Reverend_Scott: Throwing pregnancy tests into the shopping carts of random couples at Walmart is the only silver lining in my day.
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@Writepop: "Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome." - Pew Pew Pew Research Center
@_thatigirl: Rude lady to me, "Well I'm sorry but you don't LOOK sick to me." Me, "Looks can be deceiving. For example, you don't look stupid."
@hipchkk: Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital.
@BoogTweets: Mom: Your son still won't do his laundry. Talk to him Dad: I'm not going in there Mom: Why Dad: Last week I stubbed my toe on 1 of his socks